From burned out old wood, comes new life, giving breath to a fresh new startNew Growth
Change is very difficult to embrace. Habits are hard to uproot and comfort zones are fondly held onto. It is possible to carry on in life never having experienced all that life has to offer, if we never refuse to shake up the ground we stand on. For some of us, I am guilty as charged, change is not only hard to embrace but it is very much hidden from in favour of the almighty comfort zone. Then, out of the blue change decides to make itself known once and for all. It grabbed me, as if lying in wait for me to come round the corner and be ambushed by it. It's happened more than once! The first major change was when my long career with TD Bank Financial Group came to an abrupt end, due to downsizing/outsourcing/restructuring, what ever they want to call it, I was sacked with 63 other hard working souls. The second has been the very sad, but abrupt separation from my wife of twenty years. There is no nice and easy way to say it, it has been the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with in my entire life. The new normal is one that I have yet to fully understand and embrace, but it is happening weather I like it or not. So change is in the air. I remain not bitter about what has passed. I do not hate. Yes I am sad, seemingly to no end. This sadness is not unlike a dark and uncharted path in the woods. Insecurity that no one can see and uncertainty all around. I can only hold firm to God for his strength and guidance. Yes, I believe in God. If I ever doubted him I can certainly say that inspire of me he has been ever more so real to me through this time of sadness and despair. I am trying to look forward, not backward. The old forest has burned to the ground. Little of it remains, and I am seeking the new growth. New hopes, new dreams, new paths. This canvas is my testament to what has transpired in my life. An expression of things to come. I've no bitterness for the past, but I hope and pray that I will learn from it and be a better man going forward. RM
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Memories
48"x72" Oil on canvas available for sale The story behind the painting: I have a wonderful Father. (Mother too!) But it was my father who, being from a rural small farm town in New Brunswick, came to Toronto at the age of 16, and soon after married and begun his family in the far out suburbs. He made certain every vacation to pack us all up in the family van and travel. Mostly to New Brunswick to visit family, but along the way we often detoured all over Northern Ontario, Quebec and the East Coast. I like to say there isn't much between Toronto and Halifax that I haven't seen. When I grew older I continued those travels on my own. Now I can honestly say that there really isn't much of this great land I have not seen. Those travels have made permanently etched images into my heart and a few years ago I decided to bring together those elements into one significant large canvas. I call it "Memories", for it is not of a specific place, but rather of many. I have kept Memories with me most of the time but recently exposed it to the public a the Algonquin Park Gallery. Now it is home with me again. Perhaps it speaks to you? You can discuss acquisition with me any time by email at robertmcaffee@gmail.com The light that guides you in the nightMost of us know what it's like, that feeling late at night when all the lights go out. It's that time when you are alone with your issues, your concerns and worries. Theres no one there to help you though it and you must find your own way through to the morning light.
I recently had a rather in depth conversation with someone close to me about making ones way through to the light. We talked about how in life there will always be issues, problems and trials, but it's not the trials that make us, it's how we navigate them to the other side that matter. There is always a light at the other side of our troubles and it's critical that we press on until we get through. So here is my latest Northern Lights rendering and it is all about the light that guides us. Even in the darkest night we have a light that we can follow that guides us through to the other side of night. It's glow is sometimes dim and sometimes bright but if we just keep our minds set on that light and follow through, we will be ok. RM Change of SeasonIt wouldn't be life if every day was predictable. Mine certainly has been full of ups and downs as they say, like any good sailor I do my best to ride the waves.
To say that an artists work reflects the experiences he/she is going through is something I never paid much attention too. I heard it said many times but it never really mattered much to me until I began to travel through rough waters life. While my career as a full time artist has continued strong and growing every day, I have seen my share of personal struggles and grief this past year. I didn't really notice the trend in my work of moving into dark themes but it became clear through the questions of patrons and collectors that a change had been noticed. As much as I try to resist, I must admit that my paintings have directly reflected my turmoil. The days of difficulty have yet to pass but I see the light, and it's not far off. I am appreciative of the wonderful support of friends and family through this period in my life, and I say hang in there friends, the best is yet to come What artists love to wearI hear it every day, the insecurity of the artist. It seems that almost every artist goes out and buys a few essentials to do what they do, and high on their list is one item that seems to be wearable for life. An item they just cannot seem to resist, and once they start wearing it they just cannot seem to live without it. Is it a sweater? No. Might it be an apron? No. How about a hat? No, not that either. It is a seemingly insignificant thing that grows with time. It is Insecurity. There are many reasons for artists insecurity, certainly the Art Establishment goes to great lengths to make sure artists always feel like they owe their lives to the establishment for helping them to become discovered and have a career. Little things like the subtle and not so subtle suggestions that “perhaps you should try painting like this or that” and the one that I love…”You have turned a corner, your work is getting better,” we anoint you with the oil of approval. But it’s not the establishment that has my goat today. It is the seeming inability of the artist to toot their own horn. My late uncle Jack Reid once told me a joke, he said “If you want to know how good an artist is, just ask him”. That, if you knew my uncle was a classic piece of his personal sentiment. He believed in his work, he knew that he had put in the years to make it excellent and no one, no establishment, no art society, no art club or jury would ever have the right to break that down. I am a student of the school of Jack Reid. I am 54 years old this May 28th, I have been a conscious artist since the age of 6. Through many trials and difficulties in life and in art I have come to a place where I am confident in my work. Enough to hang it anywhere and know that I have put my very best forward. What concerns me is the artist who is crippled by his or her own insecurity. They cannot seem to move forward. Hang it up, put your price on it and let it take on a life of it’s own! Do not be swayed by the winds of opinion, you are a unique creature, you have a unique view of the world you are moved by. You paint it the way you see it! Who has the right to tell you otherwise? If they look at your painting and say “You are charging THAT much for it?” just smile, say thank you for considering it. Let them mosey on and stand firm. Your price is no measure of your confidence, your price IS what you need to live and feed your children, etc. Your price is NOT a measure of success and it is certainly not your reason for insecurity. Be yourself. Paint what you love. Put only your best out there for all to see, and disregard those who do not help you to progress and move forward. Surround yourself with positive thinkers. Get moving! R.M. www.robertmcaffee.com To Serve or be Served?Self Serve Vs Full service
This morning I nearly dropped my free McD’s coffee all over myself as I went to my seat. I always start my day with coffee and something else, somewhere in Whitby. Sometimes PJ’s breakfast diner, sometimes Sunset Grill, or any number of places where I can sip some caffeine and focus on what my painting day will look like today. It’s a very necessary part of my process. As I walked into my local McD’s for this morning’s focus session I noticed the brand new, very shiny and brightly lit self serve kiosks standing near where the (soon to be eliminated) full service real people currently serve me. Oh boy! The sight of that stirred more than my coffee let me tell you! So sure, I get it…self serve is supposed to speed up service and save you money by keeping costs down. Right, I understand. Now wait just a minute here. Let’s think about the save you money part: we’ve all used self serve gasoline stations, but to be sure when we do choose it we know that the full serve does cost more, usually a good 4 or 5 cents a litre more. So there is a clear choice, right? Now let’s go back to McD’s, choose self serve or full serve and the price is the same. Let me think about this for a second…be served or serve myself for the same price, no advantage one way or another, same price, no discount for serving myself, nope! No discount for relieving them of the work and expense, in fact, you pay the same either way. Have you been to the grocery store where they have now had self serve check out for a couple of years? How do you feel about that? You are opting to use it and perhaps somewhere in your mind they have made you feel that you might be saving yourself something? NOPE. Not happening. Not a chance. Now let’s imagine ourselves in the shoes of the current serving staff who are forced to work next to those self serve kiosks, how do we suppose they feel? Working next to a machine that is most certainly aimed at replacing humans eventually. It’s not just the service or lack of it that get’s me going, it’s the glaring fact that these multi Billion dollar corporations, who have deep pockets and the where with all to resist such greedy job illuminating technology in the first place. When I was toasted (let go, downsized, outsourced, what ever you want to call it) from my last corporate job in favor of cheaper labor replacement options the opening line from the top managers was this: “ We want you to know how much we really appreciate the hard work you all have been doing…”. Knowing full well they aimed to replace us all with workers or technology that could and would do the same work for 1/3 less. It comes down to this for me…to self serve or be served? I choose to keep the people employed and also I choose, for my hard earned money, to be served. Especially if it’s the same price either way. Preserve the jobs, serve the customer, keep our economy strong. What’s wrong with that, eh? R.M. Comments welcome. Print and Broadcast News:News Media in trouble I am a lifer! What do I mean by that? I know, to some it means a person who has been convicted of a nasty offence and is sentenced to a life term (or more) for the dirty deed. I have never been convicted of a nasty offence, at least not yet anyway. I could be convicted, however, for something nasty. I could be convicted for the nasty crime of having been a nightly viewer of the evening national and local news cast. A crime because it’s almost a crime to subject ones self to the nightly barrage of the most depressing and saddening list of stories anyone could ever imagine sitting through just moments before I close my eyes to sleep each night! It is obvious that the editors of all the news outlets I experience, do make some effort to include light hearted stories that take some of the edge out of the list murders, bombings and political fraudsters that we can’t seem to get enough of, or maybe we have? Maybe we have had enough? The news media, both in print and broadcast have been taking hits of their own of late. Print is going the way of the Dodo bird, and that’s sad because I do enjoy browsing through the pages from time to time. Broadcast news, both on Television and on radio has been seeing ratings plummet as news seekers can and do time shift/download their own pick from the worlds multitude of sources, and this leaves the live media with a problem: how to generate revenue when no one is watching the commercials? Day after day we are learning of yet another news room that is closing up shop. Sad, I am a firm believer in what good investigative reporting can do. No, not the kind that rehashes a murder mystery with disregard for formal court procedures. I’m taking the kind of reporting that goes the distance in revealing when we are being taken by corporations, government and the like. What’s gone wrong? In this humble artists point of view, I say we are all getting pretty sick, after a day long of commuting, working, family stress, financial stress to sit down and listen to the Barbie doll anchor tell us about todays bloody murders, complete with mind numbing graphic images to boot, only to quickly pose a smile as they tell us about Kim Kardashian’s wardrobe slip…! I never minded watching Lloyd Robertson of Harvey Kirk, with their grey hair and wrinkles tell me the news of the day. In those days there were no warnings of graphic images. Just the news. The envelope has been pushed. I don’t know how news anchors can handle reading such stories night after night, one would think that they are as in need of P.T.S.D. treatment as anyone else! I’m sick of it. I stopped watching. I suggest that many many others have already beat me to the punch. That, my friend, is the reason why the News Media is in trouble. R.M. For the Love of Northern Lights paintingsI don't know what came over me. Like a mad rush. I just wanted to paint a northern lights scene, but the thought of so much dark on a large canvas surface, just intimidated me. I started out small, an 8"x10" on canvas. I admit it was inspiring and it did have me in it's grip. So I did another one slightly larger. All the while that I was doing these dark canvases I was certain I would never be able to sell one. Who else would identify with my love for this wonder of the dark night skies? I painted 5, initially and all five sold in very short order and for very handsome prices I might add. Then I left it alone for a few years. Shown here is from the new series of my latest Northern Lights paintings. I'm really enjoying them. I wonder who else will share my passion for the night sky colours? RM The Lost WaterfallThe Lost Waterfall In my first year of painting full time I went through a terrible period of depression and discouragement. During that time I painted this waterfall which was very thickly textured. It seemed visitor after visitor came and walked right on by it. I never could understand why. I loved it so much. I never understood why no one else seemed to share my feeling. There was a low point, and yes, it was a rainy day. I looked at it a little too long that day I guess. Then I tore it off the stretcher and tore IT up into 12 small pieces. Rolled them all up into a single roll and then...I don't know what I did with it. I know it's not gone, it's around here somewhere but, I've no idea. I call it "The lost waterfall". 40"x60". I miss it. I wish I never tore it up. Wesley Robertson
R.I.P. Wesley Robertson 66 years old. A life too short. My life has had many great influences and I am deeply grateful. But few have touched my life as powerfully and long lasting as my grade six, seven and eight Music Teacher and friend for life, Wes Robertson. Mr Robertson, you made life exciting. You added something to mine that made it meaningful in so many ways. You taught me to be passionate. To appreciate talent and to take it to the limit, one more time. You taught me not to despair over a "Hard Days Night". You made me know that it's very cool to sing in a choir even when all my friends were playing hockey. You made me see that not everything that is shiny is gold, but that if I worked hard enough I might just get some gold. You opened my eyes to not only rock music but to the classics, and I enjoy them to this very day. I still have the Mozart record you gave me when I was in Grade seven. When I wrote my first sheet of music you sat down on your piano and played it for the class, even though it was not so great. You left us on May 27th, too soon. But not before you made the long trip to my home recently and purchased a painting of mine...what full circle to see that you learned of my success, and I owe so much of it to you. I will be forever grateful to you and for you. I know God is caring for you now and your body no longer feels the pain. I will see you again, in heaven one day. Robert McAffee |
The Artists JourneyThis is my blog page and it is where I get to be the opinionated man that I really am. The views are my own.
I invite your replies and comments, on my virtual welcome mat. This sketch above became this finished painting below
The Pine Tree Painter.How did I become known as the Pine Tree Painter? You could say I paint a lot of Pine Trees, that would be true. I paint a lot of other things too, but Pine Trees, Spruce Trees, Birch and others seem to be a continuous string in what i do. I just like the way they stand there like a custodian of the land. or a greeter to nature. So, I continue down the path with the Pine Tree Painter name on my head, It's ok. Archives
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